Lie Day

I recently had occasion to want to educate myself about some lesser known holidays.  When I asked my friend ‘Google’ about them I found that there are way more weird, unusual, odd, unique, and bizarre ‘holidays’ then there truly need to be.

For instance, tomorrow (April 4^th), is ‘Tell a Lie Day’.  Now I don’t know about how you live, but I actually try to avoid telling lies.  I like truth and honesty and integrity.  I believe in keeping promises made come hell or high water.  And now, here it is, a day that seems to be mocking my belief system.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not preaching any holier-than-thou stuff at you. In fact, I don’t go around hurting people’s feelings just so I can say that I always tell the truth.  However, I do attempt to err on the side of polite and have learned to say such things as “It has a very unique flavor,” or “Do I like your new haircut?  Tell me, do you like it?”

I’ve also used completely ridiculous lies.  “What’s for dinner?”  “Tonight we are having a lovely selection of rocks and sticks.  If I have the time I’ll see if I can whip up a little mud pie for dessert.”

I don’t know about you, but I feel that if you cannot tell something this ridiculous is actually untrue, perhaps you deserve to be served yard waste for dinner *shrug*.

However, tomorrow is Tell a Lie Day.  Tell a lie day.  The day that you can go around feeling justified saying whatever erroneous thing you feel like saying.

“No, that dress isn’t too tight, I’m sure you haven’t gained any weight at all.”

“That paper was written beautifully.  I don’t know why you got an ‘F’.”

“I didn’t buy anything at the mall.  I was window shopping.”

“What happened to the last piece of cake?  I have no idea.”

“This is the best lima bean pudding I’ve ever had.”

Weeeeelllll, alright, you got me.  Technically that last one wouldn’t be a lie since I’ve never had lima bean pudding.  By default it would have to be the best lima bean pudding I’ve ever had.  Also the worst.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t believe we should have a ‘tell a lie day’.  But if you simply must participate, try to keep your lies creative, friendly, and relatively unhurtful.  Don’t go out and commit infidelities and then use the day as an excuse to cover it up.  Don’t lie about how the car got totaled.  Try to be a good (lover, daughter, bestie, son, cousin, or friend).  Don’t come up with a lie about why you missed something scheduled – a phone call, an appointment, a special day – whatever.  Unless the lie involves an elephant, three bowling balls and a package of Necco wafers.

You should definitely tell that one.  No lie.

*wink*

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