It’s really all about the children.
Children grow up and become adults who raise more children who grow up and become adults who raise more children who grow up and become adults, ad infinitum.
You do not lay a foundation for your house with cracked, broken pieces. A foundation should be rock solid, stable and secure. By raising a child, you are laying a foundation that will house generations to come. Lay a solid, loving, stable foundation. Lay a foundation that can withstand the storms, the earthquakes, and the inevitable heartaches. Lay a foundation that may be counted on in times of uncertainty, a surface that holds up the happy, joyous, secure place you think of as ‘home’.
I understand that no one is perfect. Everyone is flawed. The cracks and oddities and uniqueness of ourselves make us who and what we are. I understand how experiences shape our realities.
Experiences shape our realities. They shaped the realities of who we are today and they will continue to shape the reality of who we remain or who we will become. The same holds true for our children. They will become what they are taught, they will take their todays and their yesterdays and their tomorrows and hold them in their minds and their worlds will be shaped – for good or for ill.
We must therefore learn about our own flaws and our own shortcomings. We must learn to be that foundation for our children, a rock-solid, loving, permanent place. We need to be the place where they can be assured of love and security and kindness.
We need to be more than what we are so our children and our children’s children can have what they deserve. We do not need to be overly permissive. We do not need to be swayed by pleadings. We do not need to shower them with worldly goods. We do not need to provide an overabundance of things. Money does not nor will it ever provide more than a fleeting happiness. Happiness is the secure place inside each of us, an anchor to weather us through the heaviest storms.
We should teach our children how to weather storms and remain happy and secure. We ought to provide that stable foundation where they feel free to touch base and reassure themselves. We do not need to solve their problems, but should strive to give them the tools to solve them themselves. We should help them learn that they should create their own moral codes and remain true to themselves.
We need to teach them right from wrong, good from bad, acceptable from not. We should teach them that certain things are unchangeable, such as the love and caring we can offer. We need to accept them for who they are and teach them that they are lovable, even when they are not. They will learn right from wrong, good from bad, wonderful from awful if we always temper our actions towards them with love.
We need to moderate our impatience and learn our limits and work to absorb the impact of our own failings. We need to always, always remember that the things that we do, and say, and are will impact their existence and subsequently the existence of their offspring.
Children are taught to be what they become. They are not inherently bad or mean or racist or evil.
There are no bad children. Impact each child you have or know or fleetingly contact in a manner befitting the best of what you are or what you could be. Do what you can, when you can, for whomever you can. Let them see the best of what they are, or what they can be, from your eyes.
The world, the future, and everything – it really is all about the children.