I’m not one to do holidays well. Something always seems to go spectacularly wrong for me during celebratory occasions. For me, it’s like Tuesday on steroids. I’ve learned to grin and bear it and cringe quietly through whatever day and celebration it happens to be. It is just one of those things.
Last year I thought my luck had changed. I was promised a stress free, family oriented, fun, carefree holiday season. I argued that it just wasn’t possible, that my very nature seems to repel any such animal, that the universe might explode. Discussions ensued and the end result was that I launched myself into the wholehearted belief that for once, I would not only enjoy a holiday but *gasp* be relaxed and have fun.
I doubt it will come as any surprise that this didn’t happen. The universe did attempt to implode, headaches ensued and it was a rollercoastery season of extreme ups and mondo extreme downs. My belief that a normal, fun holiday was possible was crushed, trampled, stampeded and all around mangled. It was a time of trials and heartaches and learning. It was awful and terrible and something akin to the most explosive trainwreck you could ever imagine. And in between those horrible times, it was a time of fun and dreaming and learning and loving. It was a time that defies explanation.
Fast forward to this year.
This year I’m going into the season with the attitude of IYCFIFI. A dear friend of mine tried to drill this into my head about a million years ago. IYCFIFI means “if you can’t fix it, forget it”. Ok, technically the second ‘f’ stands for something else, but I think maybe you get the idea. This year, from all preliminary reports and attitudes, was shaping up to be the year of the miracle. Perhaps even – the year of the HOLIDAY. Yes … holiday in capital letters *BigSmile*. Eh. It truly doesn’t seem to be working out that way, but I will withhold judgment, try to relax, try to make it the best season ever. What else can I do? I don’t wish to be a defeatist or go into the season with a rotten attitude. Believe it or not, I actually enjoy all the little problems and finding solutions and making the bad into good. Last year was a trial because the solutions weren’t mine to find and there were underlying factors and parties involved that dictated things against my choosing. Que sera, sera.
What is the point to all this?
It is THANKSGIVING.
Thanksgiving is a day and time of reflection. A time to count blessings, a time to acknowledge and enjoy the little things as well as the big things. Thanksgiving is a time of wonderment – for all that IS … and all that CAN BE.
I am thankful beyond words for so many things. I could create lists of things for which I am thankful that would go on for pages and pages and pages. I could enumerate every thing I see and every blessing I have and every need which is met and every emotion I experience. I could.
It would be in a way, fun beyond words to try to list all the things I am thankful for in my life. It would be odd for some of you to read that I am thankful as well for the problems and heartaches and trials. The oddity of it doesn’t make it any less true.
I am thankful for it all – the ups, the downs, the problems, the fun, the yeses and the nos, the things I have and the things I want. I wish to embrace it all and be thankful for each thing in its own way.
I hope you too, can find the thankfulness in Thanksgiving. I hope you can embrace the joys and the heartaches, the loves and the hates, the things that go right and the things that go wrong. For every thing there is a season, for every thing there is a reason.
And now I have to wonder if the song is cycling through your head, as it is mine. It was unintentional but I hope you like the song – you know the one I mean – and I hope you can find in the words something to be thankful for.