Adversity breeds character.
Adversity also helps you figure out what is truly important, and what is just fluff. A lot of times, day by day by day, it is easy to lose sight of the “what is truly important” and just live and work and go on and bitch and think “blech” and use all your time for the things that, although possibly important in their own regard, are not as important as the things you may be putting off or skipping or relegating to some cosmic holding ground.
I do not reject adversity but rather revel in it. It helps me learn and grow and think and feel.
I have found ways to overcome adversity, ways to learn that cater to my need to force myself to expand my horizons, take risks, overcome fear.
I think the reason I love whitewater kayaking so much and even moreso with him is that there is no getting off the ride, no turning back. There is a commitment involved. I get scared and tend to abandon things because of my fright. It really isn’t possible to abandon a trip in the middle of whitewater and one of the last things I wish him to see is me being scared. I do not deal well with being scared and tend towards safety and coincidentally, mediocrity.
Mediocrity isn’t something I want again.
Not so long ago, I set out on a new life adventure. I decided to take the world by storm and go out and do and be and feel and love and hope. I have done so and it has not been without its own set of problems, its own issues and pitfalls and adversarial times.
It has been an adventure, and still continues to be. I have found love and hate and adventure and things I wish I had never ever been without, ever. I have learned how to ski, how to kayak, how to write better, how to compromise beyond all previously aforethought bounds and how to survive. I have found joy and tears and problems no reasonable person could anticipate.
Note that I said ‘reasonable’.
I have found so many unexpected things in the past year. Oddly, I seem to have also found mediocrity.
I’ll take the pain and the heartache and the unbounded joys and the problems and the solutions. I’ll take the sleepless nights and the silly banter and the pain and the laughter. I’ll take it all, grab it with both hands and shout “Hallelujah” to the stars and revel in the fact that come what may, I am alive and I feel and I love.
I will accept the inconveniences of life and yell inward to myself when I forget and complain too much. I will take it all and feel.
I will dance in the rain as tears cascade down my face and I will smile.
I will reject mediocrity, regardless of what I must do in that rejection. I want to take the world by storm again … still … forever.
I want to live.